been a minute since I posted.....

...have no fear, I'm still here.... pulling my head out of the books long enough to say hello to my readers in blogland...
*waves*

Here is my horoscope for today:

Although your mind is firmly tethered to your future, today's steady Taurus Moon in your hidden 4th House of Early Childhood reveals your desire to stay right where you are. You are more interested not in holding on to the status quo rather than risking what you have for an unknown reward. But looking back will only make you nostalgic or fearful. Be brave and face the unfamiliar that's right around the corner.

I have been thinking/dreaming about J for a while now. It's silly. No, worse than silly, it's stupid and unrealistic and a waste. I know this, but how do I stop the thoughts from crossing through my mind. I need a distraction in the form of a boy.

Okay, maybe that isn't the solution either...

It's all I got for now.

In happy news, I finished my holiday greeting cards. I have to do the inside message, but then I decorate envelopes and they are outta here!
:)

I will post pics after everyone receives their card in the mail.

... and I'm gonna be.....

... In Seattle to see Kevin Smith, LIVE AND IN PERSON.... TOMORROW! (Saturday 10/17)

can't even tell you how excited I am....

In addition to that.... I believe I'll be single again.... um, very soon.

The metal dude is nice, but I think I'm just better solo. Especially when I'm too busy for words between work and school!!
Listen, I'm not giving up on dudes completely, but waiting for one of two things: my equal (meet my list of minimum requirements) or Silent Bob.

:D

Wish me luck on good driving and good parking karma and finding the place easily!
Have a good weekend, everyone!!!
xoxo
rachael

Um, how do I say this....

... oh, I'm no longer single.

Whew! There. I said it.
So I happened to meet this guy online at the end of July and we just HIT it off for some reason. We chatted online everyday (still do, in fact) then we decided to meet IRL. The first meeting happened over Labor Day weekend.

We had fun watching movies, listening to music and getting to know each other in real life.

Despite my frazzled nerves, there was still a connection with our face to face meeting, and after some discussion, we decided to date each other exclusively.

I'm still taking it slow, because I have A LOT of fear when it comes to relationships. Fear of getting hurt, fear of hurting someone else, fear of abandonment, etc... Let's just sum it up by saying I have issues. Gah, I hate admitting things like that.... makes me feel so, um, human.

Anyway, school is about to start in just over a week. Still gotta iron out my schedule and figure out the book situation. Oh, and mentally prepare for giving up the sad little social life that I've celebrated over the past few months.

Oh, you want to know about my boyfriend? His name is Matt, he's two years younger than me, he is into metal, playing guitar, video games, movies... oh, and me. :D He lives in Vancouver, WA.

He and I are crazy in sync and often say the same things at the same time. We are close in age which makes it fun when we make pop culture references. :D

Most importantly, he gets me. Oh, and I get him, too. That part of this whole this is really new, different, mindblowing, astonishing and well, pretty stellar.

We are in the relationship infancy where everything is so sweet and sappy. We already have lots of inside jokes... just between us. :D

So anyway, just wish me (us) luck.

Love is a battlefield....

Ten Songs I Love

Ten Songs I Love:

Van Halen - Ain't Talkin' Bout Love
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Alice In Chains - Don't Follow
Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
Frank Black - I Burn Today
Smashing Pumpkins - 33
Offspring - Stuff Is Messed Up
Seether - Fake It
Drowning Pool - 37 Stitches
Beck - Cold Brains

Another reason I'm single...

Like I needed another reason NOT to get involved with someone:

So a while ago, this guy and I were exchanging emails on POF (dating website). He was all about the phone and I'm just not that into chatting with some complete stranger (I'm shy). He said, "well, you can text if you want." So cool, I don't really want to randomly text or chat on the phone with anyone, with one exception: if they can carry on an interesting conversation. If it's lame or boring, I don't really want to waste my texts.

So I get a message from him this morning. He sent it at 1am, so of course, even though I was up at that time (trying to fall asleep), I didn't get the text until this morning. I'll disguise his identity a bit:

I check my phone text messages and it just says: "Its b***y how r u doing?" (keep in mind he hasn't messaged me on POF for over 1 week)
I respond: "hi there, b***y. it's rachael. i'm fine, how are you?"
His response: "Im doing fine myself u should send me some pics."
My response: "I should send some pics? pics of what?"
His response: "Pics of u."
I don't respond, but after a while he does: "So that's a no."
My response: "Why do you need pics of me? U know what I look like, right? I have pics online. I don't much feel like being photographed 2day." (The online pics I'm referring to are my POF profile pics)
Hi response: "it's nothing wrong wtih having pics of a person." (this just doesn't even make sense!)
My response: "I understand what u r saying." (This is a lie, I do not understand what he is saying.)
His response: "Ok, it's cool" (I did not respond to this.)

You can't break a heart and have it

Wow.  I was really getting good at blogging there for like, a minute.  Oh well, reality sets in and you have to get back to real life.  Which for me means, work, playing in my scrap stuff and doing stuff with my friends.  Oh, and walking... lots of walking.  I do feel the need to cram as much fun stuff into my summer as possible.  I know it's gonna end soon and I'll be back to my previous work-and- school-work-and-no-fun-stuff routine.

Last night my friends and I checked out Black Francis (AKA Frank Black) at the Aladdin Theater.  It's a sweet venue, because it's tiny and intimate.  Jen and I arrived early and saved seats for our friends.  I swear we were about 20 feet from Frank.  A few rows from the front, right in the center.  

The show was good.  I'm glad I went.  I had camera phone envy because the boys in front of us  had really cool phones that took really good photos.  I did take a pic with my phone, but I can't find my micro SD card adapter.  Oh well... the pic might not have been good anyway.  

So, I'm back on the blog for now.  We'll see how long this episode lasts.

More books...

I just finished reading The Wedding, by Nicholas Sparks.  I was loaned this book by my boss.  She wants it returned, so against my better judgement, I read it.  I say, "against my better judgement" becasue I have read Sparks' books before.  They are pure works of fiction.  In my experience, real life doesn't happen at all the way his books are written.  I think I like real life, but I do take something from his books.  I do like a little bit of fantasy in my life... 

I did find a couple of quotes that I really liked from this book.  

"But love, I've discovered, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.  Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day."

"Yes, I decided, a man can truly change."

Death...

This past week, I got news that a woman at work suffered an incredible loss on the 4th of July.  Wendy is my coworker, Max is her grandson.  In september, Max's parent's (Wendy's son and daughter-in-law) took him to the doctor, to get him checked out after noticing something was off about him.  After extensive testing, they found out he had brainstem glioma (Information I found on the interwebs about this: Brainstem gliomas are tumors that occur in the region of the brain referred to as the brain stem, which is the area between the aqueduct of Sylvius and the fourth ventricle.)  He underwent treatment, and there was hope for a short while.  However, on the fourth of July, Max passed away.  Six years old.  I don't know Max or his family personally, but I do know Wendy.  Wendy approached me this past spring and asked me to create two scrapbooks for her to give as gifts to Leanne, her daughter-in-law..  One for Max's sister, Addie, and one for Max.  I worked my tail off creating these albums.  I created pages and left spaces for journaling and photos.  It was a fun project.  Except I admit, I struggled while making Max's pages.  I knew he was sick and this affected my creativity.  I powered through, which is what I do.  At the last minute, I finished the books and delivered them to Wendy who carried them with her on the plane to visit Max and his family.  Leanne loved the books and said "they are beautiful and perfect" and also asked if I could make more for her to give others as gifts.  Of course, I can.  It's what I do, after all.

I'm going to post a couple of my faves from Addie and Max's albums:

reading and life...

I just finished this book.  I really like it.  I always find quotes in everything I read.  Here are my favorites from this Good In Bed:

"You don't have to do everything alone," he said. "There are people who care about you.  You just have to let them help."

"Help," I said again, as if I were a baby, as if this was a word I'd just learned and could not stop repeating. "Help me.  Help."

These quotes remind me so much of what someone might say to me.  I never let anyone help me, I have resigned myself to doing everything alone.  

This grand jury experience has been frightening.  It's truly opened my eyes to so much.  I am disbelieving at the amount of crime that happens in my city... when the DA says that the crime rate is down, I don't see how.  My response has been to hang out at home much more than I used to.  Opting for doing something at home rather than going out somewhere public.

Anyway, that's enough depressive chatter, but that gives you an insight to what's been running through my brain these days.  I can't wait until I can return to work.  I only have one week left of grand jury duty.  Woohoo!

I've been scrapping a bit and have to scan some pages, but will wait till I'm all the way done (some of the pages need finishing touches).  Will post them later.

I skipped out on July 4th celebrations this year.  I scrapped at home instead.  I was invited to a couple of celebrations, but don't want to do stuff alone lately (so OVER being "that" girl).

I have recently started two new "online dating" profiles, but am too chicken to meet anyone IRL.  Which is no big deal, because no one has approached me or messaged me or anything.  I will only have time for "dating" over the summer, but looks like that's not really going to happen, so I'll just use that time to scrap instead.  :D

Mish mash of randomness....

I just finished reading this book.  It was really good.  I don't know why, but I'm a sucker for the coming-of-age stories (mostly of teen girls).  I suppose I really dig them because I can think back to my youth and identify with similar feelings, emotions, thoughts... I have a lot of favorite quotes from the book, but I like this one most of all:

"...It's an old story, the oldest, but there is comfort in love. I am still an escapist at heart."

Oh, I can't even begin to explain how indulgent/gratifying/luxurious it feels to read a book for pleasure, rather than an assignment for school. 

I just got the new Wally Lamb book, The Hour I First Believed.  I think I will start that next.  I loved "She's Come Undone" and "I Know This Much Is True", which are his first two books.  He's an amazing writer.

Stef loaned me her Black Francis album.  Svn Fngrs.  I'm checking it out now.  Black Francis will be in town this summer.  Stef and I are going.  We are also trying to see Ween in Bend in August.

I need a new car battery.  On a car-related note, I passed 100,000 miles on my car recently.  :)  There was 60,000 miles on it when I got it three years ago.  Woohoo!!  Uh, I drive a lot.

I have to get my last bit of spring term homework and projects done.  I'm giving myself till tomorrow night to get the homework done and will print the portfolio next week.

Let's see.... what else is going on?  I'm still on grand jury duty.  It's pretty intense and I'd much rather be at work.  It does, however, make me thankful for not choosing a life of crime, drug addiction, general jackassery.... ALSO extra thankful for not getting involved with someone who did choose a life of crime.  I only missed out on this last part by some guardian angel's re-direction in the form of the ex-con*rejecting* me (!!).  This life works in mysterious ways, I tell you.

Well, I have one other blog post to finish up, then I must get to work on accomplishing something and being productive and cleaning this disaster of an apartment.

Have a lovely weekend, everyone.  

I leave you with some pictures I took this week.  One of the good things about being downtown everyday is that I can usually find something to take pictures of.

Longest day of the year:

She's a shutterbug:What a couple of hams:

From the Pride Parade/Pride Festival:

Some random waterfront/downtown photos:

Civic duty....

Hey all, I'm going to be on grand jury duty for the next month.

Other than that, school's out for summer, so I must get my scrap stuff organized and begin being crafty.

I will be around more, even with jury duty and hope to see all of my friends a lot more often!!

Of course, I'll try to blog more often, as well, but I'm kind of a slacker at this blogging thing.

I also have a goal to take more photos, so I'll try to post as I achieve that goal.

These fireworks are on fire....

Friday night was spent wandering around the carnival and watching fireworks down at Waterfront park. It was the kick-off of the Portland Rose Festival, which is a pretty big deal here in our fair city. It starts Memorial Day weekend and then continues on most of the month of June.

Jen and I planned on going down to watch the fireworks and, thinking along the lines of "the more, the merrier", I invited almost everyone I know... Stef decided to bring Luke down and meet up with us and Jen's friend, Richard, also met us downtown. It was nice to hang out with everyone and chat and oooh and ahhh at the fireworks. I took tons of pictures. After the fireworks, Stef and Luke parted ways and headed home, while Jen, Richard and I drove across the river and stopped at Suki's. It's a cool Karaoke bar. We drank, listened to people sing karaoke and people watched. Richard sang a song and there were many rounds of "happy birthday" between songs. Guess quite a few people were born on 5/22 or something. After that, we went to Victory and drank. I was the designated driver, so I didn't drink much and just enjoyed getting out, since my Friday nights are usually full of homework these days.... and will be for the next two weeks.

While I should be working on schoolwork, (right now and this whole weekend), I decided to crop with Heidi and a few of the other ladies last night. I got quite a bit done and started some layouts. When I've completed them, I'll post 'em.

Here are the photos from the Rose Festival Kick Off Festivities....

We got a first timer here... :)

Matchmaking in the air....

http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20090513006276&newsLang=en

interesting concept. As a single lady, I can honestly say, this is intriguing. I love a boy with an accent, so I'd love to meet some super fantastic dude in New Zealand, but I'm not the best with matchmaking type stuff, so I'm not sure I'd enjoy the flight over. I think I'd have too much pressure on to find a match.

I'm not that into finding my match right now, anyway. I do have a nagging urge to hurry up and find someone to share my life with, but realistically, I have no time to add another person to my life. It's sad. I know. boohoo... Oh, I also have notoriously bad taste in men. Clearly, that is motivation for me to enjoy the single life and celebrate my freedom!!!

Have a fantastic weekend!!

Shameless self-promotion....

I'm so not the type to whore myself out and try to get folks to buy my work, but I am posting here that I have a new etsy store to sell my handmade cards.  It's not fancy and I don't have much stuff up there, but it's good quality crafty goodness, so check it out if you have some time to kill.

To the right of this post, you can click under "buy my stuff".

Give me some feedback if you don't mind.  I have no idea how to do this type of thing.  I usually just sell my stuff through word of mouth.

Friday night:

Here's Jen, myself and two of the Toadies at the end of their set at Hawthorne Theater.  Those are not cigarettes in their hands... they are sharpies.  People wanted stuff signed.  We got nothing signed.

One is for envy and one just for spite....

Even though I'm posting a blog, I shouldn't.
I should be reading my business 101 textbook or doing my Accounting homework. I had an all right weekend, but wasn't as productive as I could have been.

I did finish this page for my friend Mandi. I am going to put it into a frame so she can put it up in her hairdressing station at the salon she works at. There is enough space for a 5x7 photo and my hope is that Mandi will find a cute one of her little family (hubby and toddler daughter). Mandi really likes the color yellow, daisies and ladybugs, so I tried to incorporate those elements into the layout. I really like the result:

Survival instinct dwells in a past that is inhabitable....

For those playing the at-home version, Mr. Random texted me tonight. Like usual, out of the blue. Nothing significant to report from the back and forth. I did learn that I could talk on my phone and text at the same time. It was weird.

The weather was fan-freakin'-tastic this past weekend. I managed to walk after work on Friday and Jen and I wandered downtown and walked all the way around the esplanade Saturday afternoon. We people-watched and snapped a ton of photos. I'm sharing some here:

I've always liked how people name their boats...

These fluffy cotton candy-like blossoms are soooo beautiful:

Even though there are those amazing blossoms blooming, there are still some bare trees down by the waterfront... we'll call these late bloomers. Check out the sky.... it was sooooo amazing in real life:

This is a Portland landmark:

This guy was flying a kite right down by the Willamette, who knew it was windy enough to fly a kite?:

Miss Jenni ate one of these, she got the last one and for only a buck!! Lucky girl. I watched her eat it..... and even photographed it so I'd be able to live vicariously through her. Mmmm... elephant ears.... cinnamon, sugary, doughy, fried goodness.:

I kick the dirt, for what it's worth, listening to birds chirp

Okay, okay.... the ladies are calling me out on my sh**. Yeah, yeah.... I hear you. I really did want to blog last week, but I took on a project consisting of two 12x12 scrapbooks. I knew I wouldn't have time to work on them after spring break (I work full time and take a full time course load at junior college during the regular school year: September - June), so I was trying to work on them each night. Much to my dismay, I wasn't able to complete them. I will continue working on them in any spare time I can find this term.

I did make some cards around the Valentine's day "holiday".

Jose's little girl had a birthday in February, so I made her this:

I also made a card for my friend, Jose's birthday.

At some point, I will be scanning and posting the scrapbooks I've completed over the year. I may not get around to posting until the summertime. It is a time consuming project and I'll have the summer off from school which will free up some time to get caught up on everything.

On the romance front, there's nothing really new to report. Here's a rundown of the past few years: 2006 - reconnected with a dude from high school [oh, his birthday is today, happy birthday _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _] , at one point he just started calling me his girlfriend (never once ASKED me to be his girlfriend, just referred to me as such), by the beginning of 2007 he said goodbye and vanished from my life. December '07 much younger dude who I'd been dating for six months or so busted my heart in half, handed it back to me and walked out of my life [all the while claiming to be my friend]. This episode spun me into a shame spiral, filled with depression and hate. 2008 - I had a friend tell me that he was "crushin' on me" (literally, that's what he said, word for word). When I asked him what that means, he said "I don't know." I simply let it go and told him to let me know when he figured it out. I mean, I can't figure this sh** out for him. Six months ago, I had a man tell me he was going to marry me. Not ASK me, TELL me. Oh, he also said I was going to have his children!?!? Oh and if anyone knows me, they've probably heard me talk about my Mr. Random story. This guy has randomly texted me over the course of 5 years (!) (I've seen him a few times over that period) and about a month ago, out of the blue, he asked me to be his girlfriend VIA TEXT MESSAGE. Seriously?!?! I'm sorry, but as a grown up, I really can't take that sh** seriously.

I've been a wreck when it comes to dudes since I left and divorced my husband and if I really look back on my experiences, I can see why.

Last week, I had a nice interaction with a guy friend. It kind of gives a girl hope, but part of me (the cynical) is like "mmhmm.... he's just like the rest." riiight....

I've been listening to Adam Carolla's podcasts and I can't recommend these to everyone enough. I am a big fan of his and have been since the Loveline days.

I also have a new morning show obsession. Rick Emerson moved to FM radio (101.1 here in Portland) from the AM dial. I have listened to his talk radio show(s) since 2000. I'm a huge fan and of course, can't recommend his show enough.

I really love my roomie's kitties, but have been missing this one lately:

Anyway, I'm rambling on now and should get this published before the clock strikes midnight and I turn into a pumpkin (and it stops being that one guy's birthday).

Living up to my reputation.....

....as worst blogger ever!

Just been super busy with work and school. No real time to blog or scrap (two of my favorite things to do). The end of the month is spring break, so expect an update then.

I haven't been taking many photos lately either. The girl who always has her camera attached to her has been a complete slacker. So not even any fun photos to post.

Will make up for it over summer break..... I promise.

Thanks for understanding!

why?

Boomtown Rats I Don't Like Mondays Lyrics Songwriters: N/A


The silicon chip inside her head Gets switched to overload.
And nobody's gonna go to school today, She's going to make them stay at home.
And daddy doesn't understand it, He always said she was as good as gold.
And he can see no reason 'Cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to be shown? Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. I want to shoot The whole day down. The telex machine is kept so clean As it types to a waiting world. And mother feels so shocked, Father's world is rocked, And their thoughts turn to Their own little girl. Sweet 16 ain't so peachy keen, No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat. They can see no reasons 'Cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to be shown? Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. I want to shoot The whole day down. All the playing's stopped in the playground now She wants to play with her toys a while. And school's out early and soon we'll be learning And the lesson today is how to die. And then the bullhorn crackles, And the captain crackles, With the problems and the how's and why's. And he can see no reasons 'Cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to die? Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. Tell me why? I don't like Mondays. I want to shoot The whole day down.

Ever get that funny feeling that your future's not gonna be legit...

One quick post before I buckle down and do my math homework.... that I put off until the last minute.  Ugh...

I've had a busy first week of school.  Math is my most difficult class.  I also have a four week 10 key class, an Intro Accounting Class, a College Survival class and a Painting class this term.  It's going to be hectic balancing school and work for Winter term, but it's going to pay off, I'm sure.

Today I went to breakfast with one of my favorite couples, Stef and Nicholas.  I LOVE breakfast and I love to eat it any time of the day or night.  So I jumped at the invitation to go eat breakfast with Stef and her man.  

After that I picked up the ingredients for apple crisp and apple pie.  Then I went home and put on my apron and went to work.  

Over the snowy winter break, I had lots of indoors time.  I actually worked on card sets as gifts for my family.  I forgot to scan one set and then I forgot to scan the other, but I did remember at one point, so I have some to share:

A short blog with a video link and some song lyrics, oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
I just acquired this CD from a friend.  I am in love with this song.
Lyrics:
I've been roaming around always looking down
At all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street

you know that Icould use somebody
You know that Icould use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night
While you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging war to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

(I'm waiting)

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around always looking down
At all I see